Acorn

Issue date: 4/11/08 Section: Arts and Leisure

Media Credit: nytimes.com

Mediocrity, thy name is "The Ruins." Unceremoniously dumped in the midst of the most anemic box office period of recent years, Carter Smith's film of Scott Smith's best-selling horror novel clearly has no loftier aspirations than making a quick buck off of bloodthirsty teen audiences. But this rough-and-tumble tale of young American tourists menaced by man-eating vines in the jungles of Mexico is nowhere near as successful on-screen as it is a beach read.

Almost comically sparse in character development, "The Ruins" is something of a fascinating catastrophe on film. The premise would seem to lend itself to B-movie translation, but something has obviously gone disastrously wrong. The first glaring mistake is easy enough to identify-the cast is horrible. The filmmakers should have considered that if their audience is going to spend the majority of the film's time atop a pyramid with these people, they ought to be likable, or at the very least, tolerable. Sadly, they are not.

Laura Ramsey commits quite thoroughly to her role as Stacy, the archetypal dumb blonde who ends up bearing the brunt of the hysterics once desperation sets in. Her performance stood out as one of the only times I've ever believed in the anguish of a character in a horror movie. Sadly, she's joined by Jonathan Tucker and Shawn Ashmore, two of the blandest, most charisma-free leads I've ever seen in a Hollywood release.

Jena Malone plays the ostensibly smart Amy-we know this because she's constantly wearing glasses, which passes for nuance in "The Ruins." Malone is simply better than this sort of throwaway nonsense. And Joe Anderson, last seen as the only bright spot in an otherwise dismal "Across the Universe," has little more to do here than trot out his ridiculously unconvincing German accent as Mathias, the foreign tourist who brings our not-so-intrepid anti-heroes to the titular ruins.

"The Ruins" falters on the crucial aspect of providing scares, and such set pieces as a descent into a well to retrieve a lost cell phone provoke derisive laughter instead of gasps.

Gorehounds will be pleased, however, as the film delivers in that regard-a grotesque double amputation by hunting knife, performed sans anesthesia, will undoubtedly send the squeamish fleeing, at which point everyone left behind may very well look back at the screen and take a moment to ponder why they are still there.

The realization that the $10 plunked down for "The Ruins" is the only thing keeping you in the theater will undoubtedly be the most legitimately terrifying moment you'll experience while watching the movie.

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