Acorn

Issue date: 2/15/08 Section: Arts and Leisure

Media Credit: whooga.com

Hello readers! Please bear with me, because this is the first column I have written in my entire life. I am going strictly with what I have learned from my breadth requirement writing class and Carrie's writing style from the show "Sex and the City." From what I am about to say, I fear that 98 percent of the Drew University population is going to hate my guts, but I must stress that I'm not trying to offend or prejudge anyone based on their appearances. Remember, these are strictly personal opinions coming from a guy with hopes of becoming the next hot thing in fashion, who also happens to wear his jeans so tight that it would even give Nicole Richie a muffin top. So please, don't be offended. Fashion is brutal.

After living on the earth for nearly 21 years, I have seen a lot of ugly-such as high-waist pants, clogs, tribal tattoos and so on-which are having a comeback, God help us. Luckily, those trends died out-even though we get the occasional person stuck in the past. However, if there is one trend I absolutely cannot take any longer, which is prominent on the Drew campus and will probably survive a nuclear war, it is the god-awful Ugg boots! Is there an Ugg epidemic at Drew? They are everywhere I turn-when looking at the ground, of course. I see them paired with everything-jeans, sweats, skirts, leggings. I think people even wear them to bed. Can someone please explain to me what it is about these puffy boots that is so fashionably appealing? Is everyone wearing them just to fit in? Sure looks it to me.

If you don't know what Ugg boots are, let me explain. They are basically these ugly tan boots constructed of sheepskin, like Lambchop, with a wool inner lining which provides warmth for when we walk the tundra of New Jersey. They vary in color, styles and lengths. The common pair of Uggs is tan, soft, puffy, flat-bottomed, abnormally round and end at the shin. The worst ones are the ones with the fur all over the place, turning women into abominable snowwomen. I even saw an Ugg boot with a heel!

If the name doesn't say it all, I don't know what does. Ugg to me sounds like it's short for ugly. Does anyone know how ridiculous they look? I always hear people rave about how cute Uggs are. I think if anyone finds them cute, that person needs to walk up the hill to Health Services to have their head examined. The second excuse I often hear defending Ugg boots is "Oh, but they're so comfortable." Comfort is not fierce or sexy. I cannot see anyone being sexually turned on by Ugg boots unless they are into furry things. Dressing for comfort is the number one excuse people have to say for themselves on the television show "What Not to Wear," where people are stopped for their horrendous clothing and learn from two fashion experts how to enhance their appearances based on fashion and grooming. I really doubt that we all need to wear them for their warmth. It's New Jersey-not Alaska. Not to mention, I believe global warming is happening, so our winters have been rather mild, which makes wearing Uggs these days not that practical. If global warming will eliminate the usage of Ugg boots, I will embrace it as each sunray fills my body with damaging radiation.

I cannot say more about Uggs except that they are over-priced, over-padded and flat out over-ugly. I see many people with excellent fashion sense, but some personalities destroy an outfit by wearing those little tan monsters.

Do the world a favor-stop wearing Uggs. They make your feet sweat. I know this because I wore a pair my friend had for about 20 minutes to be objective and see what all the hype for Ugg boots is about. Are we trying to create a population of sweaty feet? If so, I must have missed the memo.

Once again, I must stress that these are only my personal opinions, and that I am not trying to make enemies-just more fashionable human beings.

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