Acorn

As my graduation rapidly approaches, and the real world drags me with my fingernails in the floorboards closer towards making legitimate contributions to society, I�m beginning to see the one thing that I�ve heard people talk about so much in my four years but hadn�t yet fully experienced myself: �The Drew Bubble.�

No, there is no ozone-like halo surrounding our campus, but, much the same way the mime pushes upwards toward the sky to show his boxed imprisonment, so too am I pushing up at the unseen Drew Bubble that imprisons me. It�s there. Not only is it there, but it�s slowly suffocating all of us.

Think about it.

College is supposed to be a segue into the �real world,� and, in many ways, it is.

We�re on a set, rigorous daily schedule � always counting the hours until the weekend gets here, much like every white, blue or pink-collared worker in America. No one is around to help us with life�s basics � feeding ourselves, dressing ourselves, cleansing ourselves.

We�re on our own, aside from the occasional nudge about throwing your almost-alive laundry pile into the washer. The closest thing you have to a parent at Drew � aside from the always poorly-timed phone call from Mommy � is your roommate, and those of us lucky enough to have singles are the most independent we can be on campus.

But, think about life outside the dorm room.

Our meals are prepared for us � save the brave students who try to use the wok or nuke themselves some cheese fries � by Aramark.

The registrar � supposedly � helps us set up our classes so that we graduate on time and in the easiest way possible. No one does that job in the �real world.� Substitute the word �classes� with �jobs� and �graduate� with �retire,� and you�ll see there is no such occupation.

Facilities takes care of all of the things that go wrong in our �bubble.� In the �real world� you�re paying for that guy to come and look at why your heater sounds like the spawn of Satan.

The student government � much like the American government � does nothing but talk. As a matter of fact, the only thing I remember about the SGA from my four years here is when then-sophomore Doug Suessenger got kicked out of it. In the �real world,� the same holds true for many adults. They only seem to remember the scandals, the mistakes and the ridiculous quotes � The Doug Suessengers of the �real world.�

Public Safety is probably the single greatest enforcer of the �bubble.�

Underage drinking, drug use, disturbing the peace, public drunkenness, disorderly conduct, fighting, sexual assault � outside of Drew, there are legal consequences for these things, and yet, if you commit one of these infractions on campus, Chief Evans or Frank Merckx deals with you. Off campus? A police officer and a judge handle things expediently. But that�s the point.

Technically � legally �� we�re all adults, but no one on campus is going to call Madison PD and report a freshman being drunk in Tolley, a fight inside of Hoyt or a noise violation in the Suites on Saturday night. It�s unheard of on a college campus � almost cowardly � to do that to your peers. In some cases, it�s the same off campus, but the point is that we�re here to learn about �Liberal Arts� and �Life.�

Enjoy your time on campus, but be prepared for senior year and the dreaded �real world� coming to knot that tie around your neck and kick you out of Drew�s �Bubble.�

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