Acorn

Issue date: 4/9/05 Section: Sports

1. What is the most pointless sport that exists?

BP: What sport does Laura play? No, no, the sport isn't pointless, Laura just doesn't make any good points ... As far as sports go, you have to put them on the same "playing field," so to speak, and when you boil them down to their most basic form, the only sport you could eliminate from existence, and no one would be upset about -- including the participants -- is cross-country running. Any sport that makes you vomit on a routine basis should be tossed, and the fact that almost anyone in the world can do it ... Well what's the fun in that? Go pick up a glove or stick or something if you want to be an athlete. I've seen warthogs run long distances (her picture is up top there, next to the caption "Laura Moss").

LM: Anyway, what sport has less point than a sport that by nature relies on the existence of other sports? I'm talking about cheerleading. Yes, I know that last week I argued that cheerleading is not a sport, but since I got no points for that question, I'm going to restate my answer and say that cheerleading is a sport, just a pointless one. A good friend of mine has pointed out that cheerleading is essentially a sport whose point is to get excited about other sports. During a basketball game, cheerleading only has a point when a point guard scores some points. Pointless? I think so. That is my point. Give me some points.

TJ: Definitely Equestrian. Maybe it's somewhat of a sport for the horses, but the riders just sit and if we're lucky get tossed off. Give the horse a couple beers and then you have one heck of a sport!

CD: Can we let go of the myth that fishing is some type of legitimate sport? As a young sports fan, I can remember the anger that coursed through my body every time ESPN would end SportsCenter and cut to some old guy on a boat showing you how to bait a line. Like I said last week, a legitimate sport requires some type of objective scoring system, but fish catching isn't what I had in mind. The only thing more ridiculous than calling fishing a sport is the fact that fishing video games actually exist.

Ali the Ump: Two points for Daniels. Fishing should be considered a leisure activity, not a sport. One point for Picchierri. Cross-country running may seem like a sport to some, but to most it's punishment.

2. What should be the new university president's main initiative to work on for athletics?

TJ: We need a president who is a devoted fan of Division-III athletics -- I'm talking about someone to rival Superfan. When was the last time Drew had two superfans? As a member of the men's swim team, I know the rush my teammates and I get after slapping hands with Superfan. There's no question we would perform at a much higher level if we had another hand to slap, especially if that hand were Drew's new president.

CD: When you come right down to it folks, the state of Drew's athletic facilities is pretty good. We have a nice outdoor stadium, a state-of-the-art indoor facility, two weight rooms, two dance studios and what swimmers I've talked to have called the best pool in their conference. There isn't really much room for improvement. With that said, the only thing I would expect the new president to do is to show the same support for the teams that Tom Kean did by coming to as many games as possible.

BP: I know what you all think I'm going to say, but this time, I think getting rid of the Athletic Director would be number two on my list. Number one? Getting some friggin' money for a new stadium. You've got the men's and women's soccer teams on there, field hockey and men's and women's lacrosse, too. Why do they play on something made from old tires and shag carpet from the 80's? I've seen -- and experienced -- numerous injuries on that trash. And the seating isn't anything to write home about, either.

LM: To reiterate a subject we've discussed time and time again, the new president's main initiative should be to increase fan support and create an athletic program that students can be proud of. It's almost embarrassing to see the number of people in the stands for home games. It's almost tragic to see how hard our athletes work for such little recognition from the outside community. People cry over the Yankees/Red Sox games but no one even knows our baseball team's record. The biggest item on the new president's agenda should be to make the whole Drew community interested and involved in university athletics.

Ali the Ump: Two points for Johnsen. Seeing the new president slap hands with the athletes before their contests would get the athletes pumped and get more students involved with the athletic community. One point for Moss. Increased fan support would be a big bonus for all of Drew's many student-athletes.

3. MLB -- What team is going to take it all this year? Why?

CD: Since the curse of A-Rod has infected the Yankees, I'm going to think outside the box and go with a National League team. The Giants are too old and too Barry-less. The Cardinals won't recapture the magic of last year. The Braves will win 100 games, then get swept in the Wild Card. Who does that leave? My pick for the Wild Card, and then for the World Series over the Red Sox: The Philadelphia Phillies. The Phillies have one of the top three lineups in the NL, a solid pitching staff, a good bullpen with a dominating closer and a good mix of guys on the bench. The rest of the "experts" may be overlooking them, but this expert isn't.

BP: First let me start by making the prediction now. That Jimmy Fallon movie, Fever Pitch, is going to be the new curse of the Red Sox. Just laying that out there ... As far as who's going to take it?

The Yankees were a game away, no, an OUT away from sweeping the -- shudder -- defending world champion Red Sox. They improved their weakness at second base (Womack in, Cairo out), their pitching staff (Hello Randy Johnson, would you like the Cy Young award now?) and brought in a few young arms to boot. The defending champs got rid of their fan-favorite pitcher, the shortstop that came up with more clutch hits than anyone on the team and dropped the winning pitcher from the deciding game.

New York, New York takes it all this year, in a total domination of the league.

LM: The heartfelt answer is stupid -- my very own Washington Nationals are NOT going to take it all. The obvious answer is also stupid -- saying the Yankees will win is taking the easy way out. Those options eliminated, my choice is the Red Sox with Curt Schilling at the helm. Hey, if they can't win the World Series, at least they'll beat the Nationals.

TJ: This one is as easy as they get: The Milwaukee Brewers. Now, I'm sure you all think I'm jumping on their bandwagon after a 2-0 start, but I've been predicting a rise to the top for the Brewers for the last 15 years. Sure we don't have A-Rod, but the time has come. Let's get real here; you can't stop Ben Sheets ... or the other guys.

Ali the Ump: Two points for Johnsen. It's about time that a low profile team like the Brewers take it all. One point for Picchierri. The Yanks are stacked up and down the line-up, so on paper they should win it all.

4. What is the best activity for Drew students to participate in outside now that the weather is nice?

LM: Whether you run marathons or the longest distance you've ever traveled by foot is from Hoyt to the Commons, Frisbee is the perfect activity for a sunny spring day. Less active students can toss it gently back and forth and pick it up when it hits the ground. Hardcore athletes can work up a sweat playing Ultimate Frisbee, a sport whose name speaks for itself. It's also a social sport, uniting athletes and non-athletes alike in game where virtually anyone -- except Brandon -- can excel.

TJ: Don't even get me started with Frisbee. The best activity to do now that the weather is nice is learning. We are here to go to class and whether it is miserable or cold outside, we need to focus our attention on our studies. If you want to spend time outside, then enjoy the weather on your walk to the library for 5 hours of studying.

CD: One of my favorite parts of summer is going to my friend's house at the end of the block and enjoying some barbeque. Of course, the act of flipping burgers can't really be called active, but luckily Drewids have a nice mix of pseudo-sports that can help work off the calories that you're shoving into your system. Tossing a football or Frisbee is a good way to enjoy a warm night, or if you're in the Townhouse area, hopping on the swing set. Just don't do anything where you have to run around on a full stomach.

BP: Frisbee is fun, and spring is prime for hackey-sacking, but the activity that's going to take Drew by storm this season? Bocce Ball. It's a simple game to comprehend -- you throw a large, heavy ball at a small marker, and the closest person wins. You can play it in shorts and flip flops, with a beer (or two) in your hand and you can play it anywhere. Tipple Pond? Sure. Hoyt Lawn? Yeah. Heck, you could even play it in that little island in front of the Suites. Bocce Ball ... It rules.

Ali the Ump: Two points for Picchierri. Bocce ball can be played anywhere on Drew's campus and every aspect of it is fun. One point for Daniels. Eating can be considered a sport to some. And after eating you can enjoy yourself with many other sports.

Pichierri and Johnsen tie for first with 4 points each, while Daniels had 3 points.

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